MIMOSAS FOR ONE

happy halloween everyone! tonight is the night that all of the little ones have been waiting for all year. i remember being going trick or treating as a kid and the smell of mixed candies and pillowcases, the stomach ache you'd get from consuming 1/2 your bagworth an hour after you'd get home, and protecting what was left of your stash from the hungry hands of those around you. I used to hide a lot of my candy, and then forget about it and find it a year later, gooey and stuck to a notebook in the back of my closet. Now that i am older, however, my halloween usually takes place at a party the weekend before the big day. This year, i once again ventured to Pasadena to celebrate with my friends Liz and Melanie. here is a short re-cap of the trip highlights - to combat my discomfort when flying, i had a few drinks, became very relaxed and accidently left my id on the plane. i needed a new one anyway. the picture on my old one was from, like, 8 years ago. -i re-aquainted myself wit...

i love the color green. i love all shades of it. so what color would someone who loves the color green paint their bathroom? that's right kids GREEN. it has a theme, though. palm trees and lilies. i guess you would call that tropical, but it's not cheesy sandals resorts tropical. i hope. anywho, here are some pics of my progress:

after much thought and consideration, i think the theme my halloween costume this year will be devil or angel? i came to this decision after a drunken late-night self portrait sesh produced these: devil angel now i have to decide what to use from my back of tricks....i love halloween!

i should never doubt the woman. she is comforting, wise, and loves and supports me unconditionally. i was having a pity party yesterday, and a doozy at that. the things i know now to be true after our talk are that: - i am afraid of a challenge. i would rather banish myself to a lifetime of mediocrity than possiblly suffer through a grand failure. - if you have a defeatist attitude, you will always be defeated. - i don't know what i want, and that is most of my problem. anyways, those are my certainties. at least for today.

Put iTunes/Winamp on Shuffle. Say each of these questions aloud and then hit play. Write down the song title. See what you get. What do you think of me, iTunes? girl inform me- the shins Will I have a happy life? someday my prince will come- dave brubeck What do my friends really think of me? trouble on the line- Loretta Lynn Do people secretly lust after me? it's not unusual-Tom Jones How can I make myself happy? shake the disease - Depeche Mode Why must life be so full of pain? Death of an Interior Decorator - Death Cab For Cutie What's my favourite fetish? America, Fuck Yeah! - Team America Soundtrack Will I ever have children? Night and Day- Ella Fitzgerald Will I die happy? Everybody's Gotta Lean Sometimes- Beck Can you give me some advice? i wonder- the willowz What do you think happiness is? my heart cries- Etta James What should I do with my life? i can't keep it in- Cat Stevens

okay so i thought about grad school for a nanosecond until i found out that FOUR letters of recommendation were required. yeah. i don't think so. however, i'm still restless, and am in need for some sort of change. my friends down in los angeles seem like they are having so much fun. two of them are trying the showbiz thing and now all of a sudden i'm starting to have that itch too. all of a sudden i want that life too. now, i know its not as simple as all that, and that i have waaayyyyyy too much stuff to take care of to just take off, but i can't help it. i know i'm a total pipe dreamer and it drives my family (especially my mother) crazy. i feel free, yet tied down all at the same time. does that make any sense? Anyway, here's a short list of what i am considering for the future at the moment: 1) apply (and hopefully get in) to gradschool at Humboldt State 2) just move back to arcata. get a job and an apartment. 3) move to los angeles, find roommate(s) and pe...

i love halloween, so i was very excited to be invited by Kevin and Diana to join them and some of their other friends at the Haunted House and Corn Maze in Hollister over the weekend. my only complaint: i don't scare easily. these people work so hard to get a reaction from you, and i'm just lame at it. Never the less, i was very happy to join in the fun and get into the holiday spirit for the night. ps. if you ever have the chance to go, do so, this place is great. it also boasts a pumpkin slingshot, corn cannon, and giant wooden pirate ;) cornchuckers beware "stupid corn!" - yelled by guy walking through maze diana and gabe our group arrggh matey pumpkin slingshot!!! as kevin discovers,if you want to make it go far, you must sacrifice your clean clothes to the gods of pumpkin tossing.

i have never been good at getting rid of stuff. i am a packrat to the maximum. this has now extended itself to my camera phone. i had pics stored in there from the past year, and now it's time to clean house or phone as the case may be. however, i didn't want to just erase them, because they are my memories. Seeing as how i have turned this blog into a picture diary, i can't think of a better place to share them. So without further adieu, my year in review: grandma murtha playing bubble catcher Giants vs. Padres ( we like the giants. only ryan likes the suckey padres) two guys i met in a bar Halloween 2004 emily and her sister celeste when we went to SF at Christmastime mitch and brown pose in their matching jackets zach hamming it up even as a cartoon he's hot drunken self portrait from friday night

i am just wondering if anyone is reading my blog. i never get any comments except from people promoting their own shit. Am i really that boring? should i even bother having a blog? does anyone find what i am doing to be intresting...at all?? some validation please!!!!!

is it just my internet servers or is everyone being rejected from myspace right now? HELLLLP! i can't go a day without myspace (actually, this isn't true. since my laptop was stolen last month, i technically can't go online on weekends. only at work) At any rate, i'm really annoyed. it's not like i have any messages wating for me, but i still don't like being denied access. poo on the internets! UPDATE: this morning one of our tech guys was around my area, so i asked him if our access to certain sites had been blocked, and he informed me that indeed "big brother" was watching and decided that myspace, friendster(which i don't even use anymore), etc. had been placed on the NONO list. now i really do have to buy a new laptop :( or i could just take this opportunity to ween myself off the myspace a little ;)

to quote the great Homer Simpson, "DOH!" after a year and a half of thinking that there was no way i would be eligible for Grad School because of my "satisfactory" gpa, i have now come to realize that my gpa was in fact good enough to at the very least apply! now to be honest, by the time i graduated last year, i wanted nothing to do with school or theatre or humboldt. but after some careful soul searching i now see that nothing made me happier than school and theatre and humboldt. Once again my Laidback (see: lazy or listless) way of life has me slaping my forehead in hindsight. The way i see it, i can do one of two things 1. get on the ball and apply 2. forget that this possible new opportunity has presented itself and continue my life as is. both options have their charms applying and possibly being excepted means : i will have challenged myself, i will be moving...again, i will be a starving student....again, i will move away from family and friends that i will...

my friend jessica who just happens to have a fabulous blog, insurgentmuse.typepad.com, linked me to http://www.dcs.st-and.ac.uk/~morph/ The site titled The Perception Laboratory's Face Transformer, is quite a trip and time-killing fun for all. here are my favorites : as a baby. not actually too far off, either when all the wrinkles settle in as Donald Hal Lewiston Purdy IV as the amazing apelady animae margot artsy fartsy 1 artsy fartsy 2 and my personal favorite, artsy fartsy 3

i have never been known for my great ambition. i always joke with my mother that my older sister Tricia took most of the ambition supply allowed to our family, or at the very least she took all of mine. i don't know what it is with me, but getting me motivated is harder than finding an honest politician. Now, this could all fall into the cliche that i am lazy because i am fat, and all fat people are lazy, right? but instead i'll tell you the real reason.....i don't have one. Somehow, i have just always been able to float on through life doing the least amount of work possible. i don't dislike hard work. In fact, there is something gratifying about it. However, if you don't have to, why bother? I refuse to get caught up in the details and get all stressed out. my life could be summed up by the "c-student" mentality. in other words, most stuff i do ends up being "satisfactory" like the grades my teachers gave me in elementary school. All of this be...

so this past weekend was five wounds school class of '95 reunion, and i for one am so glad that i was able to make it. kudos to all of those that were also able to make it. it was so great to see all of you! thanks to Brandy and especially Nina for opening up her beach house for the event. Here are some of the pics: Monica, me, Jill, Angelina Monica and I John bbq-ing it up group shot! Kevin showing off the old neon orange school sweater, and Brian...you so goofy! Kevin's lovely girlfriend, Diana, Kevin and myself what's this? is john actually enjoying himself? Kevin and I: drink and shoot! Our hostess Nina a sligtly more inebriated group shot Brian the party animal. i had no idea ;) the morning after

from last night's alkaline trio show at the sjsu event center they played with reggie and the full effect who we missed, and my chemical romance, who weren't bad, but i would have gladly traded a few songs of their set for a few more from alk3, who were simply amazing......