the perfect me

when i was thinking of some clever title for this post, the deerhoof song, "the perfect me" came to mind. "meet me. meet me. meet the perfect me." The reason i'm writing this or thinking about that song is because i feel myself beginning to change. let me clarify. i have lost almost 35 pounds (i say almost as in i can almost taste it) since february. I lost very quickly at first, then i plateaued. emotionally and then physically because the emotional side had given up. I gained almost 5 pounds during one month of not trying at all to eat well or excerise regularly. I know this is probably going to be the hardest thing i've ever had to do, and i really want to challenge myself here. i'm willing to put in the effort. i refuse, however, to deprive myself of anything. I'm doing this through a balanced diet, eating the good (meaning bad for you) stuff in moderation, drinking lots of water, excercising regularly, and attending my WW meetings for tips and moral support. this isn't a "look at my way of doing things, it's really the best" sort of thing. i'm just writing about my own personal journey here. i'm really inspired by my meeting leader at WW. Her name is Jennifer and she lost 140 lbs on the program in 2003. when i look at her before picture, and i see her as an after, i can hardly believe it. people always say it's harder to loose the weight the older you get. now jennifer is by no means an old lady, but she is older, so to see that she was able to accomplish her goal this way gives me hope. i know it's going to be a slow process, and i'm totally comfortable with that. i would rather have time to tone and firm my skin in conjunction with the weight loss. anyway, i guess i'm writing this to have a record of how i was feeling at this point. i'm back on track, feeling great, and totally motivated to kick some butt! today was my third day in a row at the gym. my muscles are sore, but right now, that is the best feeling in the world, because i know it's making a difference.